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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

More on Faith. (not moron faith)

Faith is a somewhat difficult subject for me. It seems there is always more to learn. I recently re-read something I wrote about 4 years ago on the subject and realized how much more I've learned--and how much I still don't know.
Certain aspects of faith are easier for me to deal with, I guess. I suppose it's because there are some things so completely out of my control that it's easier to just trust God for. Other things, even though they are equally out of my control, for some reason seem more controllable to me, so I find myself trying to make things happen. But I know consciously that it will never work. Why can't I let go all the time?
 A lot of times people refer to different quantities of faith. However, I think this is a bit of a misconception. People often point to Jesus' phrase "faith the size of a mustard seed" to indicate quantitative comparisons, but I don't recall reading Jesus saying something about "faith the size of a pebble" or "faith as big as your head" being necessary for bigger jobs. Then again, what job is bigger than moving a mountain? Anyway, the point is, quantity of faith is irrelevant.

I suppose though, the problem is not so much "having faith" as it is "having doubt." The fact is, everyone who is saved has faith--it's impossible to be saved without faith! But doubt counter-acts our faith. People often take this too far as well, though. I've heard it said that if you have any doubt at all that God can't do anything for you. So basically the idea is that you have to have 100% completely clean, doubt-free faith all the time in order to receive from God. If the slightest hint of doubt enters your mind, you have to start all over again!  What stress!
I'm more of a mind to say that while, yes, you mustn't doubt, it's more important what you do with the doubt. Most commonly, for me anyway, it's not a matter of "can God do this?" But, "Will God do this?" I know that God is able to do anything. That doesn't ever even enter my mind to doubt. But the devil more often attacks with thoughts of  "why should God do this for you? You don't deserve anything. That's not important. You're just being selfish." On and on. If I allow those thoughts to take hold, then I truly enter in to doubt, which counter-acts my faith.
So how does one counteract these "fiery darts" of doubt? With the sheild of faith! But this doesn't mean psyching yourself up ("I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!"). As I said a couple posts ago, that doesn't work! Faith comes by hearing the Word of God! The only way to overpower a lie is to drown it out with TRUTH and truth is found only in Jesus Christ [who is, by the way, the WORD of God! (John 1)].
Do you ever struggle with doubt trying to drown out your faith? Do you let it seep in and cloud your vision of God or do you drown out its darkness with the light of the Word? What are you going to trust God for today? Think about it

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Pleasing God Pt 2: Works of the Law

The Pharisees get a lot of bad rap in the church today. We like to poke fun at them for being so thick-skulled and completely missing what Jesus said to them. We sometimes act like children on a playground, juxtaposing them as the bad guys and Jesus as a sort of good-guy bully putting them in their place. We pray "I thank God that I am not proud like the Pharisee." Ironic?

We miss the fact sometimes that we're just like the Pharisees. You see, the Pharisees were trying to gain favor with God. They prided themselves in knowing the law and spent all their time studying the law to make sure they were doing everything just so in order to please God. Since they had it down so well, it caused them to look down upon the others who had not yet arrived according to their standard. How are we any different?

We go to our social club churches and make lists of "dos" and "don'ts" and pay our tithe and don't drink or smoke or chew or hang with those who do. And we think it gives us license to look down on those who don't fit our mold of what the perfect Christian looks like. We're Pharisees. On the outside we may look good, but on the inside we're as rotten as the next guy. We serve God with our lips but our hearts are far from Him. Then we quote that little over-used cliché, "It's not about religion, it's about relationship." But all we have is religion. Anyone who goes on like that is in for quite the surprise when they meet God on judgement day and hear "Depart, worker of lawlessness, I never knew you."

I was a Pharisee. I grew up in a good Christian home. I never did any bad things. I was a good kid! But then Jesus told the Pharisees what was really in the law. And I was guilty. The vilest of sinners on the inside, no matter how prim and perfect things seemed on the outside. I hated someone; I lusted; I twisted truth; I had mental idols; on down the list... Worst of all, I put myself above others simply because their sins showed up on the outside. After all, hypocrisy looks better on me than it does on you.

I think it is very profound that God says in Revelation that He'd rather we be hot or cold, but lukewarmness makes Him sick. I used to puzzle over that. How could God want us to be cold? But then I learned that at least if you're cold you know you're cold. Remember the parable of the sheep and the goats? The goats were lukewarm. They thought they had it down. They thought they and God were tight. But they were really serving themselves. At least if they had been cold they would've recognized when God said they didn't serve Him.

When you boil it all down, true service and true obedience is born out of love. When you spend your time chasing works of the law and good deeds and concern yourself with pleasing God by *doing* something, you are serving and obeying out of fear or out of pride. You are relying on yourself to save you. God says the greatest commandment is to love Him with all your heart, soul, and mind. When you love someone that much you don't have to keep a list of what they like and don't like. You just know, because there is relationship.

Jesus died to give us that relationship. He took away what needed to be done to please God. There is nothing more to do to please God. That doesn't mean we throw all restraint out the window and live like the devil, but I will get to that in a subsequent post. For now, just rest in the thought that it's already been done. He said "It is finished." That is the end. No more working. No more hypocrisy. No more fear.
Think about it.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Pleasing God Pt 1: Faith and works

I was pondering the other day what it really means to please God. Most people in the Christian religion today are quite preoccupied with trying to please God. Somehow it seems we have this idea that if we please God enough then He'll bless us. Of course, if asked directly we may say that doing good doesn't get us into heaven because we know it's not all about works (the Bible flat-out says it isn't). Why should it be any different while we live on earth? Why should God reward or punish us based on our works while we live on earth, but when it comes to eternity, now we can rely on Christ's sacrifice?

This is not to say works are unimportant. After all, James says that faith without works is dead. But, even though it isn't directly stated in so many words, the Bible also says that works without faith is dead. Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith it is impossible to please God. What then? Again, it is the thermometer vs compass aspect. James says "Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works."

Hebrews 11 also says that God rewards those who believe Him. So then, we are awarded for faith and not for works; and our faith produces works as a natural byproduct. HOWEVER, it is important to realize that just as we are not capable of doing good enough works to please God, so we also cannot manufacture faith that pleases God. I have heard people try to "psych" themselves up into faith. They think that if they say they have faith and do crazy things and call it "stepping out on faith" that it will somehow produce faith. But what does the Bible say? "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God."

This was a very interesting concept for me when I first began to grasp it. I decided to try it out. I got on Bible Gateway and listened to my daily Bible reading while reading along. The results were stunning! I can't even begin to explain the faith that welled up in me. Just simply by hearing the Bible read aloud rather than silently reading inside my head. Now, that is not to say that if you read your Bible aloud every day that your problems will be over--you will have faith a'plenty and the works to go along with it. No, you still have to exercise and grow your faith and act upon it. But there is just something about hearing the truth aloud that just drowns out all the lies. What does Ephesians say about the shield of faith? "[with it] you will be able to extinguish ALL the fiery darts of the wicked one."

There are many more things to be said about faith, but I don't want to write a novel here and overwhelm my readers. And I feel like with all I've learned I am still only beginning to scratch the surface. Next time I plan to tackle a bit more of the works aspect. Do your works show that you believe in God? Do you try to motivate faith with works or do you simply believe and act accordingly? Think about it.

Friday, September 16, 2011

It's nice to know you're not alone

I read this wonderful blog post this morning. And it sounded familiar. But some people have a better way with words. Or maybe it just sounds better coming from someone else

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Fruit Salad

This post is sort of related to the last one. I brushed across the tip of the subject, anyway. I had said that you can tell what your priorities are by looking at where you invest your resources. In the same way you can tell what you are on the inside by what shows up on the outside.
Jesus said "by their fruits you shall know them." In that context, though it is unpopular to say this, Jesus was talking about evaluating teachers as to whether or not they were false. I say it is unpopular because so many people start hollering "JUDGE NOT" when you talk about whether someone is *actually* preaching the gospel or not. However, they never quite finish that verse either. But that's a topic for another day. The point is, you can tell an apple tree by whether it produces apples. If it produces oranges, you can pretty much bank on the fact it is indeed not an apple tree.
Jesus also said in the same passage that good trees bear good fruit and bad trees bear bad fruit.
Then in the Parable of the soils, Jesus speaks of the fertile soil causing the seed to bear fruit.
Oh, and then there's the part where Jesus says that He's the vine and we're the branches and if we abide in Him we'll bear MUCH fruit.
Come to think of it, the Bible talks a lot about fruit. The point is, the fruit of your life is very important. Let's take the aforementioned fruit we bear through Christ, for example. Basically Jesus is saying, if you're a Christian, people are going to be able to take a look at your fruit and say "woah! That guy's a Christian!" It's going to be obvious. If you don't have fruit, it means you're not abiding in the vine. So again, this is the thermometer by which I can guage my life. Am I bearing fruit for the Kingdom of God? If not, maybe I'm not getting sap from the vine.
Now let's look at the fruits of the spirit. In sunday school you learn about the fruits of the spirit. They're cute little fruit characters. Nine of them. A nice little fruit salad, they make. Aside from the fact this caused me to have a distored view of fruits as a child, I also grossly misunderstood how the fruits of the spirit worked. You see, I always learned "You have to be loving, have joy, peace, and patience, be kind" etc. It was all doing and being. But does an apple tree have to *try* to produce apples? Or does it just do so naturally, so long as it is a healthy tree? Does a gardener have to do something special to make the apple tree specifically produce apples rather than, say, bananas? There's no guesswork involved. Apple trees bear apples. Period. You know it's an apple tree because it has apples, you don't have to hang apples on it to make an apple tree. Fruit is the thermometer, not the compass.
That being said, the list of the fruits of the spirit (which, incidentally are preceded by the fruits of the flesh) is *not* an exhaustive list. The preceding list of the fruits of the flesh is not exhuastive list either. But Paul throws out several so you have an idea of what he's talking about. And he's not saying "do these things to stop sinning" or "do these things to be spiritual." He's saying "Do you do these things? That's because you follow after the flesh or spirit respectively."
This all may be a bit of an "of duh" moment for some of you. Or for some of you it may be an "oh wow" moment. For me it was an epiphany the first time I read Galatians through like it was intended to be read. Everything made so much more sense. Instead of trying to do the right things, all I had to do was follow the Spirit. And if I ever wondered whether I was walking in the spirit all I had to do was look at the fruit my life was producing. Amazing! What a relief to not have to worry about following a list of do's and don'ts, and what freedom!
This what God intends for us. Not a list of rules, but an abiding in the vine--a walking in the spirit-- whereby we know in our hearts and by the fruit of our lives that we are doing what God ultimately wants from us. THAT is true relationship. Not the little cliché about religion vs relationship (can you tell I hate clichés?). The real deal.
What does your fruit say about you? Are you abiding in the vine, or are you a sickly branch? Are you bearing good fruit that indicates the spirit root or are you bearing bad fruit that indicates a flesh-focused root? Think about it.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Priorities: treasures of the heart

Idol-worship. Idolatry. Tricky word. What does it bring to your mind? Not long ago the term "idol worship" would trigger in my mind an image of some sort of pagan worship-- something akin to the Israelite's golden calf on Sinai, or the grand temples we read about in the Bible and other History books, dedicated to all sorts of "gods" made of stone. The first two commandments clearly put the nix on that sort of thing. So I thought I was safe. But is that what idolatry really is? Yes. But no. Certainly, cutting wood or stone into an image and bowing down and paying homage to it is idolatry. But that's not all idolatry is.
Recently I came across a very eye-opening video on this subject:
<iframe width="560" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QPil9Br-5lE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
This video struck me  pretty deeply because it resonated with something God had been showing me. My idol is not necessarily a physical carved image, and it's not necessarily something I consciously think about being "greater than God" per se. In fact, in our culture more often than not that is not the case. My idols are much subtler than that. People I love, my job, social status, entertainment, leisure, hobbies, sports, money or possessions--literally anything in my life can be my idol.
How can I tell what my idol is? Simple: What's my priorty? Where do I focus my energies and resources? What do I think about or look forward to all the time? Jesus put it quite well in Matthew 6:21, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." So, looking for your treasure? Where's your heart? Looking for your heart? Where's your treasure? They hang out together like kids dating in school-- one is never far from the other.
I became terribly convicted when I realized where my treasure was. I didn't save up my money to support God's work. I didn't look forward with anticipation to "devotions" time. I didn't spend all my time thinking about God and praying. It was all about me. And I realized something: These things I was seeing were the thermometer, not the compass. The places I put my energies and resources were the fruit of the tree of a me-centered life, not the other way around. If I tried to make myself do all the right things I was going to fail. The only way to change the fruit is to change the root-- rather than being me-centered, I must put the focus on God and HIS kingdom, then the fruit I bear will be for HIS glory. How freeing to realize!
Where are your priorities? When was the last time you had to drag yourself away from your Bible to watch TV? Would you rather go boating with friends or serve the needy in the name of Christ? Are you committed to understanding and learning more about God? Or are you busy chasing the temporal? Think about it.

Friday, August 26, 2011

How to study the Bible 101 part 2: Context and Expository study

While I was blogging yesterday I started to go off on a rabbit trail (I tend to do that--oops!) which is highly related to what I was talking about... it's part of what God was showing me then, too. That is, how we read the Bible (for devotions or for study) is important. Therefore, I wish to explore this subject now.
Context is very important in the proper understanding of the Scripture. When the Bible was penned all those thousands of years ago, there were no chapter/verse divisions. As I understand it, there wasn't even punctuation as we know it. I remember when I was younger being frustrated at Bible memorization programs that only gave you part of a verse to memorize. I felt like if you were going to do that, you could take any phrase out of the Bible and make it say whatever you want. Come to find out, that's precisely what some people do. (Not bad deduction for a kiddo, eh Watson?). As I got older I realized that even just reading or quoting one or two verses was not much better. Verse divisions do not necessarily begin and end with sentences. In fact, they usually don't. So I had this brilliant idea: I decided to take one of the smaller books of the Bible (one of the Epistles) and read it as much like it was written as possible. I read it like it was a letter from a friend. (go figure-- an Epistle = a letter) What an epiphany! I had sorta guessed by then that context was important, but here it was before my eyes. What enlightenment to take a whole letter of which I knew bits and pieces and read the whole thing. It made so much more sense. And it made me realize that so much of what I had been taught was based off of verses that had been extracted from their context, leaving their meanings subject to the teacher's interpretation. Not cool.
Now, before I go on, I want to point out the fact that God's Word is living, powerful, and perfect. Perfect meaning complete and multi-faceted. Much like a diamond can be looked at from many angles--still being the same diamond. For example, oftentimes there is a literal meaning (or meanings) AND a symbolic meaning(s). This is how you can read a passage over and over and come up with a new revelation each time. Because it's not just words on a page--it's God-breathed, God-inspired words on a page which interact with the living Holy Spirit of God inside of you, who takes what you read and applies it to your life in the most personal way possible. It's simply amazing! I don't know if I can even adequately explain it, but you who have experienced it know what I mean.
Now, the point of my rabbitish trail is that there is a place for "personal interpretation" of scripture BUT I must also clarify it must follow certain rules. #1 it must be consistent with all of Scripture. #2 it must be consistent with the heart of God. (perhaps redunadant, but a necessary distinction, methinks) #3 context of the Scripture must be taken into account to be sure the interpretation is valid, not just something you burped up after eating too many extra long cheese coneys from Sonic. Every day, somewhere in the world, whether in the pulpit or in private Bible study, the Word of God is grossly misconstrued and strange doctrines are born because people don't take context into consideration. Some of these doctrines have even become major teachings of the church! I won't start naming them now, but I will likely eventually be tackling some of them.
Now, let's take a look at the other side of the pendulum. Remember those speed-reader types I mentioned in part 1? They're great at getting the context. But they're missing something huge. The deep study where you actually pay attention to what you're reading and what it means. The part where you get out your Bible dictionary and concordance and all sorts of other delicious Bible study tools and have a serious "feast on the Word" like it was Thanksgiving dinner at grandma's house. (Do I sound like I'm salivating on my computer here?). Guess what though! It's impossible to properly do this without--you guessed it-- context.  What did I say before? (say it with me class) Balance in everything.
Therefore, the key to proper Bible study (devos included) is a beautiful balance between taking in context and digging deep. There is a place for objective, expositional teaching/studying of the Bible, and there is a place for subjective teaching/studying of the Bible. One without the other = improper balance and improper balance is never a good thing.
Now I realize some people's heads may be spinning right about now. You look at your daily planner, back to me, back to your planner, now back to me... And as you add up the hours of Bible study we're looking at you say "Yikes!" and start wondering how you'll look in that monkish or nunnish garb. After all, you've already set aside 2 hours and 40 minutes a day for Bible study AND prayer, but it takes at least 4 hours to read through Genesis, not to mention getting down to the nitty gritty. Yes, I'm talking to you. Relax. As much as you would like to drop everything and spend your entire life reading and studying the Bible, I (and hopefully you) realize that's just not practical for 99.99999% of Christians. And anyway I'm pretty sure God doesn't want you to sit around and gorge yourself on the Bible 24/7 and ignore the world around you that is dying of hunger. Again! (say it with me!) BALANCE in everything!
I had this conversation with God too. And this is what I felt like God was telling me. Remember yesterday when I was talking about meditation? (you did read yesterday's post, didn't you? Good.) That's part of the equation. I find that if I take in large portions of scripture and saturate my mind with it, meditate on it, then study it expositorily (that's a word, right?) for however long it takes... Well, it's just like three square meals a day. I dare you to try it. I find that since I adopted that method of meditation and study I can pop scriptures off like crazy when people ask me questions. I get to have the most riveting theological conversations, too. It really is like a well-balanced diet! Furthermore, I'm much more likely to actively share my faith because it's at the forefront of my mind and because I'm more confident in my growing knowledge of the things of God.
This thought may be overwhelming to you, as it was to me at first. But rest assured, once you get things sorted out, it's really not that hard. What I learned to do is set aside several segments of the day for reading through the larger portions of scripture, spend most of the day meditating on it (which isn't hard to do since each reading segment is like a jump-start to the "thinking on scripture" train of thought), then I set aside a specific time (maybe not every day, depending on my schedule). Also, Bible on MP3 is a wonderful invention--I can listen during commutes and whatnot.
Different things work for different people. It's just up to you to figure out what works. Are you commited to being obedient to the Word by meditating on it? Are you willing to skip out on entertainment or leisure in order to get your spiritual sustinence? What's more important to you? Think about it.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Daily Devos: Are We Doing it Wrong? (or, how to study the Bible 101 part 1)

It's hard to know exactly where to start, but I'm going to attempt to start with one of the first things I awakened to when I began this journey: the daily devotional time. "Devotions" is one of those overly-clichéd words that has completely lost its meaning due to its over-use. While growing up, the word to me meant the small portion of your day where you pay homage to God so He'll bless your day. It's almost like you get special brownie points for doing devos. If you don't do them, you're not going to hell right away, but you'd certainly better feel guilty or else you might not have a spiritual pulse.

Now, it seems that in the average "Christian" American home, devotions usually includes reading a verse or two (or maybe a short passage) of Scripture, generally guided by a little booklet (I won't mention any names, but you probably know what I mean) that has some little story to go along with the verse. It's a great feel-good start to get you on your way. The problem? Well, if the Bible is your spritual sustinence for strength in the spiritual warfare we face day-to-day, let's just say that this would be akin to eating a cracker for breakfast before going out onto a labor-intensive job. And not eating lunch, either. Maybe even having another cracker before going to bed. Sound reasonable?

On the other extreme, some people's idea of devotions is to take a verse or two and do a super-deep expositional study for anywhere from 15 minutes to 3 hours. Admitedly, this is much more spiritually filling--more akin to eating steak for breakfast, to continue the illustration-- but again, it's only one meal, and not a very well-balanced one at that. Many strange doctrines can come out of this style of study as it generally requires taking one or two verses without context, which can be a detriment, which I will delve into in a later installment.

Now, smack-dab in the middle between the different styles of one-verse-wonders are the super ambitious "read through the Bible in five minutes" types who read large volumes of Scripture in short periods of time. They may win all sorts of speed-reading awards, but how much do you really get? This style is akin to eating a bagful of cotton candy for breakfast before that long day of hard work.

My suggestion? Balance in everything. Just as you (hopefully) eat a blanaced diet, you should balance between the contextual reading of what you read and studying the deeper meanings behind what you read. As I said before, I'll get into the importance of context vs depth in a later installment, but for now I want to get back to the point of devotions.

Let's look at what the word "devotion" really means. Taken from DictionaryDOTcom:
noun
1. profound dedication; consecration.
2. earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.
3. an assignment or appropriation to any purpose, cause, etc.: the devotion of one's wealth and time to scientific advancement.
4.Often, devotions. Ecclesiastical . religious observance or worship; a form of prayer or worship for special use.

Interestingly enough, the 4th definition is the religious cultural definition. Being a bit of an etymology geek, I always ask the question, How did this word come to mean this? My theory is as follows: devotion time started as being a time Christians devoted (definition 3: assigned to a purpose) to studying God's Word to learn more about Him, thus becoming devoted (definition 1 or 2: dedication or earnest attachment to a person) to Him. Unfortunately, as is often the case, it seems to have become a religious cliché, as we see in definition 4. 

How do we break this cycle? How do we learn to truly be devoted to knowing God? Do we have to drop career and family--everything-- and become monks or nuns and spend life in solitude and silent meditation to show our devotion?


Yes! Join up today and you'll receive a free copy of my latest book "How to Please God in 12 Easy Steps!" Well, there's no simple answer, really. But I think that God gives us the clues in His Word. Think of how much the Bible (especially in Psalms) talks about meditating (or related words) on God's Word [day and night, no less!]. (hint, if you don't think of about a dozen off the top of your head, do a word-search on Biblegateway.com. That might help jog your memory). That doesn't mean you sit there in a trance-like state mumbling Bible phrases in the original Greek. God didn't call us to be zombies. Think about the book of James that talks about being a doer of the Word rather than a hearer only. 


The point is, whether you read one verse or a thousand--slowly and carefully or at high velocity--if you just forget about what you've read, you've missed the point altogether. The key is not quantity or quality of Bible reading, the key is whether it changes you. Does your daily devotions time make a difference in your life? Does it simmer in the back of your head all day and influence your decisions? Do you pull it out when you have a spare moment and chew on it a bit-- have a little "pick-me-up snack" or another "meal" to boost your strength for your daily battle? If you miss your Bible time, do you still meditate on familiar Scripture and commune with God, or do you hide from him in fear and guilt? God doesn't care whether you "do devotions" but whether you are devoted. Think about it.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What does it mean?

I grew up the same way as a lot of Americans--in a Christian home where we went to church every Sunday; gave our tithe in the offering; did nice things for the sick, elderly, and poor; and read the Bible and prayed regularly. I'm thankful for that heritage, but one day (or, rather, over a process of days, weeks, months... maybe even years) I realized that I was just going through the motions. I did what I did because I was a good person and I wanted to do right by God so I could go to heaven. After all, who doesn't want to go to heaven? At the very least, it was better than the alternative!
I grew up in Sunday school. We learned that Joy was an orange and peace was an apple; love was a strawberry and gentleness was a banana. We learned that Noah built and ark and stuffed it full of cute little critters like giraffs and zebras in order to save them from a big flood. We learned about men with big muscles and weak senses; we learned about a man who ran away from God and got eaten by a whale. We learned about a man named Jesus who did really good things including dying so we don't have to go to hell--as long as we do what mommy and daddy says, because afterall that's what makes the old man upstairs happy. I was taught the same stories and lessons over and over from preschool to high school. As I got older I learned more of the nitty gritty details (all the scandalous stuff children can't hear--like adultry and murder), but never any meat. What did it all mean? What was the purpose of all those stories? Was there more to life; more to History; more to God?
Christianity was always a list of do's and don'ts. Pray, read some Scripture (or a devotional--it's easier!), give money to the church, do good things for people--oh, and mind those fruits of the spirit! Don't use bad language; don't hate, lie or steal... do, do, do, don't, don't, don't. Yet I always came back to I can't, I can't, I can't. Doing bad stuff was easy, doing good stuff was hard. Especially if you took 20 minutes of devotions instead of 10--it's like the more you learn, the harder it is to do it all. For example, did you know that if you hate a fellow human you're guilty of murder? I'm a murderer!
It all seemed like an endless list that got deeper the more you looked. I was scared. If I didn't know all this stuff, how was I going to be able to make God happy enough that I could go to heaven? Yet the more I learned, the more guilty I felt because I wasn't doing it right! I really didn't want to end up in torturous heat and misery and pain for eternity (in case you didn't know, that's a long time!). Why was I even born? It would be easier if I didn't have to go through all this!
I began searching for answers. I tried asking people--good-willed people who should know the answers. But nobody could answer the deepest questions. It seemed all they knew was these little clichés, half of which were derived from songs rather than scripture anyway. And there are certain questions you can't ask or you'll get told... well, basically nothing!
Then I discovered something. Well, a lot of somethings, really. Firstly, God says that when you seek Him with your whole heart you WILL find Him. Secondly, we come to God by faith, which comes by hearing the Word of God. These two facts became the springboard for my journey. I wanted to know God for real. I had no doubt He existed, because I had seen some pretty crazy things that could never be explained in the natural, and because I know I have felt Him. But I wanted to know His true heart, who He really was, and what He wanted from me. Thus it all began. And though my search has been going on for years, I'm really only beginning. God is so deep, wide, high, and just plain unfathomable--I think if I search every moment of my life, and should I live a million years, I would not even begin to ripple the surface of that vast ocean.
I want to be able to share some of the things I've learned here, and  hope that many will find this blog and be blessed. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I'm committed to searching out truth and deeper meaning. I believe it is time for the Church to wake up. Time to stop telling the same dozen stories over and over. It's time to graduate from the elementary doctrines into the fullness of God. It's time to dive into the depths and discover more. The time has come to illuminate our world with truth!