More on Faith. (not moron faith)

Faith is a somewhat difficult subject for me. It seems there is always more to learn. I recently re-read something I wrote about 4 years ago on the subject and realized how much more I've learned--and how much I still don't know.
Certain aspects of faith are easier for me to deal with, I guess. I suppose it's because there are some things so completely out of my control that it's easier to just trust God for. Other things, even though they are equally out of my control, for some reason seem more controllable to me, so I find myself trying to make things happen. But I know consciously that it will never work. Why can't I let go all the time?
 A lot of times people refer to different quantities of faith. However, I think this is a bit of a misconception. People often point to Jesus' phrase "faith the size of a mustard seed" to indicate quantitative comparisons, but I don't recall reading Jesus saying something about "faith the size of a pebble" or "faith as big as your head" being necessary for bigger jobs. Then again, what job is bigger than moving a mountain? Anyway, the point is, quantity of faith is irrelevant.

I suppose though, the problem is not so much "having faith" as it is "having doubt." The fact is, everyone who is saved has faith--it's impossible to be saved without faith! But doubt counter-acts our faith. People often take this too far as well, though. I've heard it said that if you have any doubt at all that God can't do anything for you. So basically the idea is that you have to have 100% completely clean, doubt-free faith all the time in order to receive from God. If the slightest hint of doubt enters your mind, you have to start all over again!  What stress!
I'm more of a mind to say that while, yes, you mustn't doubt, it's more important what you do with the doubt. Most commonly, for me anyway, it's not a matter of "can God do this?" But, "Will God do this?" I know that God is able to do anything. That doesn't ever even enter my mind to doubt. But the devil more often attacks with thoughts of  "why should God do this for you? You don't deserve anything. That's not important. You're just being selfish." On and on. If I allow those thoughts to take hold, then I truly enter in to doubt, which counter-acts my faith.
So how does one counteract these "fiery darts" of doubt? With the sheild of faith! But this doesn't mean psyching yourself up ("I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!"). As I said a couple posts ago, that doesn't work! Faith comes by hearing the Word of God! The only way to overpower a lie is to drown it out with TRUTH and truth is found only in Jesus Christ [who is, by the way, the WORD of God! (John 1)].
Do you ever struggle with doubt trying to drown out your faith? Do you let it seep in and cloud your vision of God or do you drown out its darkness with the light of the Word? What are you going to trust God for today? Think about it

What does it mean?

I grew up the same way as a lot of Americans--in a Christian home where we went to church every Sunday; gave our tithe in the offering; did nice things for the sick, elderly, and poor; and read the Bible and prayed regularly. I'm thankful for that heritage, but one day (or, rather, over a process of days, weeks, months... maybe even years) I realized that I was just going through the motions. I did what I did because I was a good person and I wanted to do right by God so I could go to heaven. After all, who doesn't want to go to heaven? At the very least, it was better than the alternative!
I grew up in Sunday school. We learned that Joy was an orange and peace was an apple; love was a strawberry and gentleness was a banana. We learned that Noah built and ark and stuffed it full of cute little critters like giraffs and zebras in order to save them from a big flood. We learned about men with big muscles and weak senses; we learned about a man who ran away from God and got eaten by a whale. We learned about a man named Jesus who did really good things including dying so we don't have to go to hell--as long as we do what mommy and daddy says, because afterall that's what makes the old man upstairs happy. I was taught the same stories and lessons over and over from preschool to high school. As I got older I learned more of the nitty gritty details (all the scandalous stuff children can't hear--like adultry and murder), but never any meat. What did it all mean? What was the purpose of all those stories? Was there more to life; more to History; more to God?
Christianity was always a list of do's and don'ts. Pray, read some Scripture (or a devotional--it's easier!), give money to the church, do good things for people--oh, and mind those fruits of the spirit! Don't use bad language; don't hate, lie or steal... do, do, do, don't, don't, don't. Yet I always came back to I can't, I can't, I can't. Doing bad stuff was easy, doing good stuff was hard. Especially if you took 20 minutes of devotions instead of 10--it's like the more you learn, the harder it is to do it all. For example, did you know that if you hate a fellow human you're guilty of murder? I'm a murderer!
It all seemed like an endless list that got deeper the more you looked. I was scared. If I didn't know all this stuff, how was I going to be able to make God happy enough that I could go to heaven? Yet the more I learned, the more guilty I felt because I wasn't doing it right! I really didn't want to end up in torturous heat and misery and pain for eternity (in case you didn't know, that's a long time!). Why was I even born? It would be easier if I didn't have to go through all this!
I began searching for answers. I tried asking people--good-willed people who should know the answers. But nobody could answer the deepest questions. It seemed all they knew was these little clichés, half of which were derived from songs rather than scripture anyway. And there are certain questions you can't ask or you'll get told... well, basically nothing!
Then I discovered something. Well, a lot of somethings, really. Firstly, God says that when you seek Him with your whole heart you WILL find Him. Secondly, we come to God by faith, which comes by hearing the Word of God. These two facts became the springboard for my journey. I wanted to know God for real. I had no doubt He existed, because I had seen some pretty crazy things that could never be explained in the natural, and because I know I have felt Him. But I wanted to know His true heart, who He really was, and what He wanted from me. Thus it all began. And though my search has been going on for years, I'm really only beginning. God is so deep, wide, high, and just plain unfathomable--I think if I search every moment of my life, and should I live a million years, I would not even begin to ripple the surface of that vast ocean.
I want to be able to share some of the things I've learned here, and  hope that many will find this blog and be blessed. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I'm committed to searching out truth and deeper meaning. I believe it is time for the Church to wake up. Time to stop telling the same dozen stories over and over. It's time to graduate from the elementary doctrines into the fullness of God. It's time to dive into the depths and discover more. The time has come to illuminate our world with truth!